What can you do to stop a partner from cheating? Well, whether you’re married, engaged, or simply dating, the answer is the same–nothing. Yes, there is absolutely nothing you can do to stop another person from cheating—and you really shouldn’t have to! However, in light of the numerous marital scandals on display for the world to see and brutally pass judgment upon these days—Tony Parker’s getting caught by text messages on his iPhone, Fantasia testifying in court that she knew her boyfriend was married, Cher admitting decades later that she considered suicide when she found out Sonny was cheating—I thought it apropos to remind anyone reading this what marriage is and what marriage most certainly is not… since we as a society seem to have completely and totally forgotten. Marriage is a lifetime commitment–and this is my hissyfit for the day.
Recently, a newlywed girlfriend of mine confessed her fears about infidelity and her new marriage. “I want to make sure that I’m taking good care of my marriage,” she said. “It seems like everyone is cheating and it’s just so sad and unnerving.” My response to this was to remind her that she had chosen a good partner and not to worry—but that there was nothing she could do to stop her husband from cheating, if he ever chose to do so (more on that in another post).
My point? Unfortunately, there’s no amount of “caring for a marriage,” or any relationship for that matter, that any woman can do to stop the type of man who would cheat on his wifefrom doing it (or vice versa). And I just want to shout it from the rooftops because it’s not the shortcomings of a partner or the state of a marriage that causes infidelity. The cause of infidelity is simply a choice on the part of a partner who decides to engage in it. Blaming infidelity on anything other than personal choice is simply an excuse for bad behavior (except maybe in the case of sexual addiction … and even that is debatable). So, let’s not “think” like some women and fool ourselves into believing that there’s anything we can do or not do to keep our husbands and boyfriends from cheating on us, ladies. Yes, be attentive to your relationship and to your significant other, but don’t let preventing someone else’s behavior be your motivation. Let love and honesty be your motivation alone and choose your partner in life wisely. And if, unfortunately, you find you’ve chosen un-wisely…dare to choose again!
Share Your Hissyfit: What is the funniest (worst) lie a two-timer has ever tried to sell you?